Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
