he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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