Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
