Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize