I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
