I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
