He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
