I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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