My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
