I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i am craving dick and cupcakes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
