??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
