I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
