omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize