i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
