you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
