Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
