I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
