I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
