The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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