She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
