The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
