So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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