First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
