I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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