the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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