Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
