It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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