Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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