he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
