I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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