bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
