Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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