U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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