i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
