There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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