Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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