Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
