you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
