I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
