I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
