I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I'm really busy with my period
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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