Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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