i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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