the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize