Welp...herpes.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
