the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
