Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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