Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
