new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
this hospital has no fireball
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A bitchslap is in order.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
