what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
