Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
