The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
