I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
