As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize