yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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