I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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